I Am Feeling 22

I turn 22 today! Cue the Taylor Swift song. I am sitting here writing this blog post, and I am reflecting on this past year and how impactful it has been for me. Being 21 was a year where a lot of stuff has happened and a lot of things about my life have changed. In the past year, I’ve applied, gotten into, and started grad school. I student taught for the first time in undergrad. I graduated from undergrad. I took exams that will enable me to get certified as a teacher. Honestly, the list can go on and on because this past year of my life has been so eventful and it has taught me a lot of lessons.

The first that I learned this year was how to let go and move on. I hate saying goodbye to people, I hate ending things, and I hate that sometimes there are things in life that come to an end. Especially when it comes to really good things. Even with things in general, I’ve struggled to let go in the past. Whether it was mistakes, grudges, people, memories, or other things that I just needed to let go of for the betterment of my mental health. I struggled with letting those things go. I struggled with this up until I found a new perspective to look at these things. The perspective is that I began to look at things with is that my past is my past, and it does not define me. I’ve used those things to help me grow and to make sure I don’t repeat the mistakes I’ve made in my past. Not everything and everyone are supposed to be in my life forever. Goodbyes and endings are supposed to happen in life. They’re not bad (even if it feels that way), they’re just an opportunity to grow and move on

The next lesson that I’ve learned is that change can be a good thing. Life is constantly changing and its rare if anything lasts forever. Change can help us improve who we are, as people, as professionals, and as whatever role we may take on in the future. For an incredibly long time, I’ve been scared of change and I was scared to embark on things that were out of my comfort zone. Over the past few years, I’ve been doing things that are out of my comfort zone because that’s where my life was taking me. This year that lessons that change is actually a good thing at times resonated with me more compared to the other years. I guess this time I’ve actually seen the positive impacts that change can bring, whether it’s something superficial like changing my clothing style or something deeper like changing the way I view the world. Maybe something big like a chapter ending and new one beginning. As stated previously, in this past year I graduated from my undergrad and I started grad school. Those are 2 big life transitions that can be daunting for anyone to go through, and I did it within the span of like a month or so. I am not saying I am perfect through these life changes, like I still get anxious and nervous, but I know how I handle to myself now. I know how to embrace it, and how to make the most of it even when I have no idea what I am doing. If we’ve seen anything in society in the past year and a half, it’s that society can change at the flip of a switch and it’s so important that we go with the flow and embrace it, while also trying to remain grounded in who we are as people. That is a hard thing to do, and I am definitely not perfect at it, but I am trying.

Actually, that brings another lesson that I’ve learned this year. I’ve learned how to embrace who I am, and how to show that to people who aren’t part of my support system. Not to like toot my own horn, but I am a pretty awesome individual and I have a lot to offer as a friend and whatever. Part of what I have to offer is that I am kind of a weirdo at times, but in the best ways because I am authentic to who I am. Let’s break this down, I don’t follow the status quo, unless it’s something that I genuinely want to do, I like things that the average person might find odd, like rocks. I know more facts about rocks than I’ve ever imagined myself knowing. I know more facts about space and astronomy than I would ever like to admit because until recently it was not my favorite subject in college. I know so much about the weather, and it excites me whenever there is a severe storm because I get to geek out on it. (While also hoping that everyone remains safe and so on). There are so many other things that I love and do that might be out of the norm, but we all do things that aren’t in the status quo. We all can be a little bit “weird”. I use to hate the word “weird” because I associated a negative connotation to it for a long time. This past year, with the help of a bunch of people in my life, I’ve learned how to associate the word “weird” with a positive connotation. If being “weird” means being different and owning who you are, then call me a weirdo I don’t care because I think being different is important. Especially in today’s world when being different can add something incredibly special and beneficial to everyone. We don’t need carbon copies of a single person because in my opinion, that would make the world incredibly boring and lackluster. If we’re all different and we embrace and accept our differences, then the world could be a lot more exciting. I want to live in that world, so I am going to be authentically me and own what makes me different. (We all should because we all could some epic-ness into this world). As I say that, embracing who I am has helped me remain grounded during these times of change. It’s hectic, as it can feel like I am floating at times. It’s the idea that I understand who I am, and I know that I will grow through these experiences and times of change that keeps me from floating away and helps me stay grounded.

I’ve learned a lot more lessons than just these 3, but these have been the ones that have shaped me the most. I don’t know what 22 is going to be like, but I am excited to see what it has to offer and where my life takes me next.

K DeBois

P.S.

As for blog posts this year, don’t expect a lot of them. Since I am in a massive transitional period of my life, I just want to focus on the present and live my life for me because there are big things that are going to happen by the time I turn 23. Once I’ve learned the lessons and have overcome whatever challenges inevitably come, then I will write about it. I still love this blog, but I need to be in the moment right now and yeah.

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