I am the first person to admit that I am far from perfect. I make mistakes and I wish I could redo some moments. I try to live life without regret, but I can easily name 5 of them. It’s okay. Each of these regrets and mistakes have taught me valuable life lessons. These things have helped me become the person I am today.
One thing I’ve been doing is questioning what if I did things differently. What if I didn’t give a specific person a chance? What if I did things at different times? Simple moments that I wish I could experience and redo. I am curious about it because most of the things that I regret lead me to questioning these things.
During my freshman year of college, I moved out of my first room less than three weeks into the fall semester. I moved in with someone who I thought was my best friend after knowing them for two weeks. I regret that. First, I should’ve given my first roommate a chance and I shouldn’t have moved in with someone who I was friends with during my fall semester of freshman year. I didn’t know this at the time, but things change drastically over the course of your first semester in college. Things meaning everything, you, your friendships, your friends, anything you can think of. There is a slim chance that you will meet your forever friend group and your best friend in college during your first week of college. I thought I had met those people my first week of college. Those friendships didn’t even make it until November. If you are in a bad living situation your freshman year, don’t request to move in with your friend if they have a spare bed.
Since I was so confident in my first friend group on campus, I didn’t feel the need to get involved on campus. I regret that. I should’ve gone to the club fair on campus and I should’ve signed up for things and gotten more involved. There is a huge part of me that is curious as to what would’ve happened if I took that club fair seriously.
There are more things that I regret, but it’s pointless getting into those things. Basically, I did the things I’ve done, and I cannot take them back. Each of the actions I’ve taken have led to something else, and to where I am today.
I think about where I am today. I think about the people in my life today. I think about everything I’ve done in my three years of college. As much as I want to restart my college experience. As much as I wish I could re-do certain moments. As much as I wish I trusted my gut in certain moments. As much I regret doing certain things. I believe that everything happens for a reason.
Today, I have emotional scars from the things I’ve gone through, but I am proud of who I am today. I am so grateful for the people that are in my life today. I am honored to have been a part of some of the experiences I’ve had. I am appreciative to have gone on a service trip, studied abroad, and so on. I am happy that I launched this blog.
After each mistake I’ve made, I’ve learned from it. I’ve learned to trust my gut on certain things. I’ve learned to take a minute and evaluate a situation before making a decision. I’ve learned to not run away from something just because there’s conflict. I’ve learned how to stick up for myself and stick to my values. I’ve learned a lot more than these things, but that’s because I’ve made a ton of mistakes. That’s okay.
If I hadn’t made these mistakes I don’t know where I would be today. I don’t know if I would be the person behind the screen writing this exact blog post. I don’t know if my life would’ve been happier or harder. I don’t know if the people in my life today would be in my life right now. I don’t know, and I don’t want to wonder about that.
In life, you’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to let people in who end up hurting you. You’re going to make a hasty decision that definitely should’ve required more thought. You’re going to give people second chances only for them to hurt you once again. You’re going to apologize to someone who you believe doesn’t deserve an apology. You’re going to go against your gut and hate that you did. It’s OKAY!
Ultimately everything happens for a reason. You just have to wait until the reason shows itself, and it might take days, weeks, months, or even years. It’s a difficult game, but that’s life. What matters most is that you learn and grow from these experiences. I know I have. It’s not always easy. In fact, it’s rather painful at times. The pain will go away, the lesson won’t.
Make mistakes. Learn from them. Grow from them.
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