It’s the final countdown (like the song). I am starting my final semester of undergrad in a few days. Wow, no one emotion truly encompasses how I feel and that’s a good thing. Starting my final semester of undergrad is a big deal where there are going to be a lot of emotions. It’s not going to be like any other semester because I am student teaching, which is something that I’ve been thinking about for the past 4 years.
The first feeling I feel is excitement. I am excited to student teach and get experience teaching to some capacity whether it’s over Zoom or in the classroom. I don’t know what that is going to be like, but I cannot wait to start that next step. A step that will be transformative and eye-opening to me as an incoming professional in a field that I am passionate about. I am excited to be going on this last hurrah with the friends I’ve gained over the past 4 years. All of our hard work and being able to finish up this crazy and transformative chapter is a big deal. The memories I have with my closest friends in college are some of my favorite stories to share. The people that I am lucky enough to be close friends with are some of the best people in the world (one of them makes me Cheesecake for my birthday and lets me eat the whole thing).
On the opposite end of that, I am sad about this chapter ending. I haven’t had the picture-perfect college experience, which is a blog post for a different time, but my experience has been incredibly transformative, to say the least. It’s sad to accept that I am never going to be living as an undergrad in a college town. I am never going to live in a dorm again (I actually kind of liked dorm life, but not getting into that). I am never going to be in a big Lecture Hall as a student taking a random general education class for a graduation requirement, and befriending people in that same class who are in a completely different college than me. I am never going to be in the same college town as my closest friends again where I could be at their house within 10 minutes. I am never going to see random people who I’ve briefly met around campus again, which was so much fun for me because it was a joke that I knew everyone on campus. That’s sad for me.
I am scared about my senior year ending because it means the start of a new chapter and change. While the newness excites me in a way, it scares me more because I don’t know what to expect. Grad school is not talked about in the movies, and grad school is different for everyone. I am going on my own path. While that’s exciting in a lot of aspects, it’s scary for the person who likes to plan out everything and anything. In general, it’s scary to go through any type of change because it’s a period of transition where we feel like we can lose control. It’s nothing to be scared about, it’s just this innate feeling in most of us.
I am eager. I am eager to have all of these “lasts” with my friends as an undergrad. I am eager to take my graduation pictures on campus (safely). I am eager to see how this semester turns out. What challenges I’ll go through and how I’ll overcome and learn from them.
With that thought in mind, I am feeling prepared. My college experience has been interesting, to say the least. I don’t know what is in store for me this semester. However, I know that everything I’ve been through has helped me become the person that I am today. I love the person because I am much stronger compared to who I was going into college. For that, I am ready to take on this final semester and the challenges that will come with it. I am ready to apply everything that I’ve learned as well. Without the lessons I’ve learned from my past, I don’t know if I would be feeling prepared and I am happy that I feel this way.
All in all, this is the start of the end of a chapter. Let’s go finish up this chapter of my life and see how it turns out.
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