People Change and Grow ALL of The Time

In life, there are people who come and go. There are few who are “permanent”. For a long time, I asked myself why this was the case. Why can’t people who enter our lives stay in our lives forever? This is a question that I have pondered ever since I was a little girl, and all of my best friends would move away after a year or two. As I have gotten older, I have realized that the reason why people enter and leave our lives like waves is everyone changes and grows as they go throughout life. I know this because personally I have changed and grown a lot during this past year of my life, and even more so throughout my 4 years in college.

As people, we all are going down our own paths. Those paths will cross and “collide” with other peoples’ paths throughout time. Sometimes our paths are similar in that they are in our lives for a few months or even a couple of years. That’s when you meet people and you can form substantial connections with them. Then those paths diverge, and everyone goes their own way. Sometimes the people we wanted in our lives for a long time, are no longer going down the same path we are. If you’re lucky and you make the effort, you can keep in touch. However, that’s not always the case and you can grow even more apart.

Keeping in touch with someone who is no longer going down your path is hard. It takes a lot of effort, and it will present a lot of challenges. Even with that being said, there are people who are worth that challenge. You don’t have to communicate every day. You don’t have to be telling each other everything every second, but when you do reconnect you can talk each other’s ear off for hours. It’s one of the best feelings in the world. There are some people in my life who I will go months at a time without speaking to them because life gets so busy. When I do reconnect with them, it’s like we haven’t missed a beat. With everything being virtual, that reconnecting might not be in person, but it will still feel the same.

What about the people who were part of your life, but then the paths diverged, and you never talk again? This isn’t a bad thing. It’s not always easy and you may miss them, but people enter and leave our lives all of the time. All it means is that you grew apart and your paths took you down different routes to the point where you weren’t meant to reconnect or keep in touch. Growing apart is a natural thing. The experiences we have can shape us and impact us in different ways.

I know that a lot of the experiences I’ve had in the past year have changed the way I look at life and what I want out of it. These experiences have changed my priorities, values, and what I want out of friendships. I know that the mistakes I have made in the past have shaped me as well and I’ve learned what I can do and how I can act to not let history repeat itself again. As a result, I’ve grown and changed a lot as a person. It is a totally natural thing to happen for anyone.

People change and grow all of the time. It is totally possible that your paths will cross again with other people. Someone who was on your path 5 years ago may enter it again because your paths crossed again. This has happened to me in college, where I had a class with someone and got really close to them, and then I never saw them again until our next class together 2 years later. Now, we’re great friends and work together all of the time in our current class.

When I think about this type of ordeal, I think about second chances. Do we give them to people who hurt us in the past or not? I am a firm believer that if the person has changed, has shown that, and they have entered your life naturally, why not give them another chance? Whatever happens, just make sure that history doesn’t repeat itself, and that you applied the lessons you’ve learned from the past. Also, be aware that just because this person is entering your life for the second time, it still might not be a permanent deal. Your paths may be crossing again for a small period of time, and they could fade out of your life. They could be there to teach you more life lessons. This has happened to me before as well, and I learned from those experiences. I don't resent the times that it has happened as well because it was another learning experience. I am almost never against giving someone a second chance to someone who has hurt me as long as I see that we have both grown and changed since that last period in our lives. I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason, and that we should be open to everything and anything that comes our way. That logic is always applied to giving people a second chance.

Overall, people change and grow all of the time. As a result, the people in our lives will change over time with few (if we’re lucky) being permanent parts to it. Don’t let any of that discourage you from living your best life and meeting people because it is a natural thing to happen. You never know who a permanent person in your life could be, so go out and live it (safely).


Kathryn DeBois

@dayswithdebois on Instagram

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